I was able to sit with a mom a few years back who had been homeschooling her kids for many years. She spoke about the benefits and many of the great resources I could get that would help me do a good job, and then she said, “It is absolutely the best thing for your kids. Never doubt that….but it will be the worst thing for you. It will bring to the surface all your inadequacies and you will need to face them.” Since I had not begun yet I wondered just how would that really look in my own life. This last year has been very good being the first year of homeschooling and I did have many inadequacies to face. Was I enough? plagued my mind most often. who do I think I am? was there as well, and “ooops I should have done that differently’ raised up many fears of whether or not I was the right person for this job. Christine Miller whose online classical curriculum we stop into most often for help and direction says this,
” We are the first generation recovering classical education. We are starting from a public school education (most of us). We have a double job to do. Will we do it perfectly? Possibly not; probably not. I know already that the classical education of my children is imperfect. While we strive for perfection, we cannot escape the reality that we will be weak somewhere, most probably; we will fail at times; we will not perfectly do all.
But remember that “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9.) Lean on the Lord, listen to His voice; have faith and trust in Him, our Teacher and Shepherd, to help us in all He has called us to do.”
Is that not amazing?? My weakness is a perfect house for His strength! I have learned this not in words only, but in everyday practice this year. For the first time in tackling a new thing, I am not worried about me. I know somewhere deep down I AM dead and hid with Christ....I am no longer living but He is living in me. It was faith first when I read about it in the Bible (romans) now it is reality in my homeschool and in my life as I have chosen to walk in this freeing truth.
In walking in this great freedom from myself it did not matter if I was good enough, or if I was very good, it mattered if Jesus was good enough. I found it oddly refreshing to not be the central focus...to sort of be on the side lines watching. He was there with us while we lived each day. I now understand why Jesus often promised us that he would always be with us......He can't stay away. Why He loves us so much I don't understand, but He does and it is the most constant and most faithful love I have ever known. So I learned to invite Him in more and more each day. “God, where do we go next in this phonics program?”, God, I am at a ten on the stress chart today be my patience with the kids.” God, I need a break please orchestrate a restful spot in my day.” "God isn't that flower magnificent!" "God thanks for the break, thanks for the idea" This sort of talking with God has become a habit to know His presence, His guidance, His great strength. God never failed me once. He was there when I was drowning and sharing in the joys when I was succeeding. God is for us....he wants us to succeed. "I came not to condem but to save." - Jesus
Christine Miller continues.
"When my children were small, I found it nearly impossible to maintain a separate daily prayer time as had been my want. The demands on my time and energy were just too great. I learned to speak to God while washing dishes and hanging laundry on the line; I learned to listen to His voice while cooking and settling sibling disputes. I found my daily relationship with Jesus deepened rather than compromised when I took Him out of my prayer closet, and included Him in the diaper-changing and rocking the little ones to sleep. I found that rather than being aware of Him and being in His presence for one hour daily, I was now aware of Him and living in His presence for twenty-four hours daily."
“The task is bigger than us, but not bigger than our God. We can take our children as far as we can humanly take them, with the help and grace of the Lord, and then with that let us be content. Our children will be starting with their own children farther down the road than us; they will have the opportunity to recover even more. Our children will be farther down the road than if we had not tried, no matter how imperfectly we complete the task; every little bit of truth in their lives will help, every progress we can help them make will more solidly place them on a foundation of rock.
Rather than be discouraged at the enormity of the job in front of us and our inadequate preparation for it, let us give thanks to the Lord for all that He enables us to accomplish for Him in our children’s lives.”
Thanks to God for the wonderful books he has provided for us, thanks for the sweet times we had together, thanks for the victories we secured in learning and overcoming bad habits, thanks for timely words of encouragements via others, thanks for the continued supply of faith and inspiration for the Bible, thanks for support and faith from my husband and family back home, thanks for the cool things we found in nature and the friends we made with books. Truly God has blessed our year and been faithful to keep us. We are not where we were when we started. THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US.
"And finally, we have to realize our limitations. In homeschooling, we have committed to two full-time jobs: teaching and homemaking. Each one by itself is a full-time job, so it’s no wonder that we get tired and discouraged. We need the Lord’s strength in order to do the job. We cannot do this job by relying on our strength; it’s too big for that. Our strength, our resources are not adequate. But the Lord’s strength and His resources are more than adequate! He is generous and willing to give freely. His help is available. So how do we “get” it? Ask and receive by faith through grace, just as we “got” salvation. “We have not because we ask not.” If we can’t get organized, then we need order. If we are discouraged, then we need encouragement. If we are overwhelmed, then we need help. If we no longer care, then we need motivation.
The Lord is able to order, encourage, help, and motivate us, and provide anything else that we are in need of, if we only ask Him." -Christine Miller